Pharoah's Marrow vs. Clarence Darrow

The best way to get good ideas is to have a lot of ideas. 

I keep notebooks. Writing everything down--good bad or indifferent--is the best way to sift decent story ideas from the garbage. And boy howdy, is there a lot of garbage. 

In the spirit of generous sharing, here are some horrible ideas culled from a decade's worth of notes. For historical accuracy I've retained all bad punctuation, unnecessary caps, unclear syntax, etc. 

• Ferret in walls--albino and urine-stinking--grows to size of puppy and humps people in the night
• Pen that attaches to your TEETH. Write with your TEETH. 
• Very smart pigs get their revenge on the monotheisms
• This one guy's spit doesn't foam anymore. Then his spittle turns blue, then purple, then red. 
• The number seven-thousand can no longer be used for any reason. Becomes as unlucky as the number thirteen. WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF THIS DICTUM?
• Pinky finger fused into palm--palm tree?
• "My legs have turned into beards!" says awesomely stupid man
• Jellyfish vs. teddy bears....Jellyfish use brooms 4 weapons...they only fear peanut butter and bread
• Monster's head looks like a small tomato wearing sunglasses
• "Pharoah's Marrow vs. Clarence Darrow"
• Kid inadvertently kills a 2 1/2 inch tall man with his yo-yo. The other 2 1/2 inch men worship him as a god. Kid is only 8 years old. 
• Guy uses art therapy. Finds out he's pathologically afraid of COWS